Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
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