tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
