PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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