She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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