I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize