At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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