dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
