she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I need a beard to bite.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
