wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
