I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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