Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
