im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
