haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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