i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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