Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
