I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
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I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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