i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
