Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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