After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
