That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
