Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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