Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize