ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
