Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
