Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
why is half of my head shaved?
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