Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
