So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
