Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
