Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
organizing the empties. That sober.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
