Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just pynch a tree in the face
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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