Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
