I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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