no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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