is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
