so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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