Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
handjob tips. give me some.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Hippo gnu deer
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
