Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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