The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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