Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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