why didn't you poke me back
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.