batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
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Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
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I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?