If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone