every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
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just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
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I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?