I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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