: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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