He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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