We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
she smelled like a LAN party
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
