the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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