Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
