So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
