Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
