We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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