Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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