Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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