Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
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