If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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