Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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