Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
