sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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