my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
