No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
