Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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