I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
