i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
