THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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